Unconditional love is something we all desperately needed from our caregivers as children. -Almost no one got it. Thank God we can learn to give ourselves this almost “magical” unconditional love. But what is unconditional self-love in practice? 💖 We stay with ourselves (with our self-perception), no matter what state we are in, no matter what we are feeling (including the really bad feelings) 💪 We actively stand up for ourselves and act in our best interests But what does that mean in more concrete terms? 🌧 A typical (initially negative) example: We feel sad and lonely and numb this with Netflix and chocolate. What does this mean for the two points? 1. We don’t feel ourselves and again experience a turning away from our authentic feelings (this time chosen by ourselves and not experienced by caregivers). 2. We are not acting in our best interests: When we feel sad and lonely, we need contact! 🤝 Burying ourselves further therefore reinforces the experience of “nobody cares about what I really need”. What can we do instead? 💖 We stay with ourselves and 💪 act for ourselves. In concrete terms: When we feel sad and lonely, we can first ask ourselves: Can I be loving with myself right now and allow myself to feel myself? If we can decide to feel ourselves alone: 💖 Snuggle in, feel deeply, maybe cry and look to emotionally connect with ourselves and discharge our feelings: - What kind of contact do I want?
- Who or what do I want to be in contact with?
- What do I need? What do I want to experience?
- And then act accordingly.
If that doesn’t work out the way we want it to: How can I learn to get that for myself? Who can support me so that I get what I need? If we can’t feel ourselves well on our own: - 📞 Who can I call, where can I go, where can I get support… so that I can feel what I really feel inside and be with myself?
- This could be a good friend.
- But it can also be a counseling number ☎️
- or an open café for encounters ☕️.
- It could be a men’s or women’s meeting.
- Or maybe it’s simply a neighbor who may not understand our current situation in depth, but with whom we still feel a friendly connection.
😉 Nothing against Netflix or a good organic chocolate. If we don’t use them as an inner push away, but as loving pampering for us. 💖 What do you need right now? 💪 What would you like to do next for YOU? |
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